I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
