i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize