omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
