I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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