Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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