i would punch a child for taco bell
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
