ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sober January is a disaster.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
