How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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