Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
