My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
