Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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