why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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