whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
