bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
