i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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