I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
