I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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