I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
