I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
