grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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