Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
