White coat. Heels.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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