so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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