so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
