I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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