dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I party with great urgency now.
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