She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
