i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
