I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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