my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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