The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
