Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
