So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
