have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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