i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
