I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
handjob tips. give me some.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
