I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
