I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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