i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
