yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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