I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
