ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
