I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Enjoy the penises
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
