Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
