hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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