dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
