My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
