There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
