And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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