"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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