Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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