he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
