Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We need a shit load of segways right now
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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