It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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