im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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