i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
