My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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