i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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