where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have already put on my inside pants.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
