He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
