I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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