she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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