yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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