I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
