If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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