i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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