bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
a search helicopter?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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