You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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