Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
