Screwed.edu
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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