About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
