He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
