My nipple is on Facebook.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
